Long Overdue

Summer is upon us, and me and mine have enjoyed a lengthy vacation already.  My two "graduated' from public school Kindergarten and as I picked them up from their school on the last day.  I've not looked back. This spring I attended a curriculum fair and got to touch, pick up, flip through and ask questions about several home school products.  I highly advise you check one out if you ever plan to do this, or if you're a veteran, then you know the value of these events.  Also, I can't express enough my pleasure of being able to meet and talk to like minded folks there.  As a newbie to the home schooling thing, it was extremely validating.
As I stated earlier, we've enjoyed a summer filled with sleeping in late, staying up even later, playing outside in the wade pool, making mud pies and just generally relishing in our freedom from the day to day grinding routine.  All things good, usually come to an end.  I decided to start home schooling the children earlier on in the summer to make sure I get cooperation from them and that I will be confident in my own personal abilities to do this whole thing.  Besides, if I failed miserably, my back up plan was to send them back to public school.  Now that sentence is used as a threat and the great motivator to get cooperation from the children!  "If I can't get you to participate in today's lesson, then I'll send you back to school and you don't have to be home schooled."    Understanding Selective Mutism as a social anxiety, you can see their motivation for wanting to stay home.  That being said, it doesn't lend itself to CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) but I've got a solution for that too.  We joined a home school co-op that the kids will attend on Fridays this fall.  For now we're getting our socialization opportunities with friends, family and a few select waitresses, cashiers and the librarian.  I'm excited about the co -op, it should prove to be a valuable time for all of us to connect with other families.  
The curriculum we've chosen is called, "My Father's World".  It's a Charlotte Mason"ish" type approach and I'm hoping it instills a love for books and learning.  We made clay jars today from modeling clay and it was fun watching my children trying to manipulate the clay into their own creations.  One day out of the week, typically mid week, is set aside as a day of exploration.  Science projects, watching ant hills, making an enviornment friendly for a bunch of earthworms to love are done on this day.  I'm really looking forward to spending this quality time with my kids.  Watching their faces light up is the best!
I'm grateful for the Kindergarten foundation the children have acquired.  It makes my job of picking up where they left off that much easier.  
As for all good things coming to an end?  I think we're going to be alright, the "back up plan" is securely on hold.  Now, if only I could get a raise?  (My husband loves that joke.)  

Public School Kindergarten

The summer between Preschool and Kindergarten came and went.  The new school year hurled itself toward us and the girls mustered up a tad of enthusiasm to start.  One question all moms of twins have is whether to separate them in school and when?   We opted for them to be together in Preschool solely for the reason there wasn’t another choice.   They’d play independently but never spoke to one another nor another child.  At the end of the year they were whispering a few words in their Preschool teacher’s ear but that stopped once Kindergarten started.  In Kindergarten we chose to separate them due to professional advice and what we thought would be best for them.  In the hopes they would gain some independence from one another and possibly the ultimate….make friends.    Our Dr. traveled to the school to meet with staff and give everyone a blueprint for treatment and to answer any questions the school faculty had.  I can honestly say they all were truly concerned and genuinely wanted to know the best way to help my children succeed in school.  The speech therapy started almost 6 weeks after the first day of school which was a little concerning but understandable.   Our schools Speech Therapist has two schools she’s giving services to.  She started seeing the girls at least twice a week and on an optimum week, three times.

The girls began to really come out of their ‘shells’.  There was a noticeable difference in their body language and personalities right around Christmas 2011.  Family and friends were noticing and making comments.    Myself or their father can get  them to respond to forced choice answers without much prodding and depending on who’s around.   They seemed to be happy and enjoying school, although some days they would fight to get ready to go.  They never really talked about school, it’s like pulling teeth to try and get them to tell me what happened in a day.  When they get home from school, they go onto their usual routines, playing outside or in their rooms.  At home they are loud, talk like they’re trying to make up for being silent all day and are quite funny.  They rarely disagree and when they do it’s because one wants to do something the other doesn’t and won’t do it with them.   Whenever there was a problem at school I’d eventually hear about it.  Seems like it’s always the same kids names that are involved.  ”So in So said I stink.”  I’d try to explain to her and comfort her.  Even going to the teacher a few times to try and get an unbiased story, if she could give me one.  Whenever they come to me I listen intently, offer my advice and chalk it up to Kindergarten politics.  Little did I know how cruel kids can be these days.

A "Foreward"; looking back

I've decided to start this blog at the beginning of this journey into the unknown, uncharted territory.  At least uncharted for us.

As a new parent you have all these dreams and desires about your contribution to the raising of your children.....and then you meet your children.  

When my girls were around 1 year old we moved out of the country.   I  found myself dropped into the middle of an island surrounded by homeschooling moms.  I was fortunate enough to considered some of them very close friends.  I got to experience and see first hand how the whole thing worked on different family dynamics and personalities.  So I began to hope that one day I'd be brave enough to face my fears and homeschool my children.  

I had noticed since birth my girls captured a lot of attention, it was a whole "twin" phenomena that would amaze me every time I took my daughters into public.  As babies complete strangers would stop me to oogle over, touch and smile at my children.  Most of the time they were friendly uninhibited comments that meant to edify my place into Twin Momma stardom.  My children from a very early age never enjoyed the attention as much as I did.  I liked hearing how cute the were and how lucky I was.  I felt like I had won a lottery when I found out we were going to have twins!  As the girls grew I would chalk their introvert behavior to being "painfully shy".  You could almost see them physically curl their bodies into themselves whenever someone besides mommy, papi or very close friends would even look at them and God forbid, talking to them.  

When they were around 2 1/2 years old, I'd noticed they didn't have the vocabulary as other kids their age.  I know you're not supposed to compare children, but common, we all do anyway.  So at the suggestion of another twin mom I sought an early development evaluation hoping they'd qualify for the early childhood intervention and get sent to preschool at age 3.  They were evaluated and fell within the "6 month window" for their age and we were denied any further assistance other than the advice to get them tested again if I still had concerns in the future.  

By the time they were 4 years old we moved back to the United States and I finally felt it was time to enroll them in Preschool.  I felt the socialization would be good for them and after a month of attending.  The teacher told me they hadn't spoken a word not even to one another!  They were referred to a fresh out of college Speech Therapist who was working at their school.  She is the one who closed in on the girls lack of "pragmatic speech"  That one word, "pragmatic" changed our lives.  It wasn't labeled shyness anymore but a whole new world of information and understanding opened up.  

For the first time I had a word to run with, a symptom of a much larger picture.  I found out it wasn't anything that I might have done!  I wasn't a miserable failure of a mother.  I was finally feeling like a advocate once I found my direction.  

I went home with that one word and did a google search and all kinds of things came back under Selective Mutism.  I printed off what I had found and took it to the Speech Therapist upon our next meeting.  Funny thing was, she had the same website printed out.   The girls switched into the early childhood developmentally delayed preschool and started speech therapy.  That school year was spent watching and trying to figure out how we get them to communicate.  At the end of the year I stressed about them being out for the summer and not getting the stimulation of interacting with the other kids.  I sat down one day at the computer and again "Googled" for doctors that treat Selective Mutism in my area.  To my delight one popped up and she's very well respected in this field.  I felt so lucky to be so close and have access to her.  Our insurance was approved and we were even cut a break by treatment partially being covered.  Our doctor collaborated with our school at the end of their preschool year and we set into motion a plan for Kindergarten.