Spring's Tender Starts

I've fallen off here again.  I apologize for my negligence.....not that there's a gargantuan crowd beating down my blog, but I'm indebted to those who do stop to read what I've put up.  I surmise this is mostly for my benefit, to see the progression they have made over the years, but for others who are searching for suggestions/answers.  I hope you'll find some nugget of truth you can take from here and run with to defend your optimism.

We've endured a long winter season and are happy to emerge to welcome Spring.  The kids are overjoyed to feel the warmth of the sunshine outdoors and see their swing set unearthed from the snow. 
We've been putting down roots here in our new location.  That in itself is a very satisfying feeling.    We've found a new psychologist who specializes in treating childhood anxiety.  She's not well versed in SM kids but I'm not concerned by her lack of knowledge. She still understands kids and family dynamics.   She graduated from a school that taught the Adlerian philosophy.  Adler believed that courage was the answer to many of life's problems.   There's a book she suggested too that I've enjoyed reading.  It's called Positive Discipline A-Z, 1001 solutions to everyday parenting problems.   I like it's approach and feel it's given me some insight.   
We continue to homeschool and have become relaxed about our schedule and curriculum since we school year round. We began reading aloud the Chronicles of Narnia series and they are so engrossed.  They beg me to read it to them.  If I may toot my own horn.  They're both reading at advanced levels for their age.  Yeah us!!!  I've not found a large variety of Co Ops in our area however there's a very large homeschooling mom's group I've found helpful.  They meet routinely through play dates, organize independent classes and share ideas on a social media website.  That's how we found and have been attending an art class on Friday mornings.  Friday afternoons are then spent meeting with friends or doing other educational things like going to the science museum, or botanical conservatory.   It's our girlie day out, have a restaurant lunch and socialize.
As far as the SM goes, they've made some progress.  No spontaneous speech on a continual basis, but they will answer multiple choice questions with strangers with a little prompting.  They've made strides when we practice being brave by saying "Please" and "Thank you" to whomever we're practicing with.  Our initial psychologist said names, please and thank yous are the hardest for SM kids.   So I'm thankful we've crossed a hurdle.  I believe it's evident the kids are feeling more comfortable in our new surroundings.  As we visit friends and family members more consistently, they continue to surprise me with their courage.  My sister in law, can get them to answer her questions (multiple choice) without any help from me.  On occasion we've let them spend the night there to spend time with their cousins and they follow the other kids giggling and playing with no apprehension.  They don't carry on conversations but will answer questions/talk with their cousins spontaneously. GINORMOUS! 
I recently stumbled across a research study on www.selectivemutism.org.  I called to inquire and quickly decided it was not for us but it prompted me to do some thinking and research on my own.  I saw on Dr. Oz the benefits of using chamomile to treat anxiety.    This is the study I think Dr. Oz is referring to, not sure.   Here's another article I found explaining chamomile's benefits.  Chamomile has had a long history of treatment in a variety of ailments, it is even used to treat upset tummies in babies with no reported side effects.  In this article I read children only need a third of an adult dose.   The kids take a snack before bedtime and I'm planning on sneaking it in their smoothies.  Surely we'll reap the anti anxiety benediction and get some compliance in them falling asleep at a respectful hour!

I'm confident we're going to practice all these approaches and see if we see any more advancements.  I understand brain function enough to know a well worn path is not easily diverted from.  If we can foster the feelings of confidence and lessen the anxiety then the brain begins making new paths to travel upon and the old one get grown over.  That's cognitive behavioral therapy.  I'll post my findings when I notice a difference. 

Praying this Spring is the season of many new tender starts.
With God's Grace anything is possible. 

The Foundation of Words

  A few little milestones to report, the girls and I practiced yesterday talking on the phone.  When the second daughter got on the phone she said "hello" spontaneously before I even did.  My heart leaped for joy!  Same said child also told me she loved me first the other night at bedtime.  It's always me saying I love them and then they in turn tell me.  That was the first spontaneous "I love you Mommy" ever and I'm taking  note.  They've also as of late are more apt to speak in a room of more than one person when all eyes are on them.  It still takes some coaxing but it's coming and they're doing it nonetheless. 
Little steps are the foundation to a house not built on sand.  Patience, time and perseverance will prevail but keep your actions and words kind.  Come from a place of love and not one of annoyance or shame.  I know many times I've wanted to push them so that other people could see the bright sweet children that I know them to be.  Putting that expectation on them is unfair of me because they only want to please me and if I push them faster than their mutism is willing to go at the time then I create the anxiety.   We need to ask them kindly and lovingly but firmly to be brave consistently!  I still believe by them being homeschooled and learning in real life environments it has helped us tackle the hurdles a day may pose. Consistency creates the opportunity to make the connections they need to learn that more people are kind and don't expect much out of a conversation other than the very art itself.   

I had heard the following quote in a lesson by Pastor Alistair Begg on Truth for Life the other morning and it really stirred by heart.

Just Suppose;
 If all that we say in a single day, 
with never a word left out, 
were painted each night in clear black and white, 
it would prove queer reading no doubt.
 And then just suppose, 
ere our eyes we would close, 
we must read the whole record through. 
Then wouldn’t we sigh, 
and wouldn’t we try,
 a great deal less talking to do? 
And I more than half think that many a kink, 
would be smoother in life’s tangled thread, 
if half that we say in a single day, 
were left forever unsaid.

 ~ Author Unknown


Not only hitting close to home for me, I also then turned it toward my girls.  Don't you wish we could harness the effects of being selectively mute some days, what a gift it would be?!  
    Proverbs 23:9
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.
Or  Proverbs 18:6 says A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.

I've been so outspoken on many occasion that a little self restraint or tongue tied-ness might have done me a world of good!

James 1: 19 says Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

I'm not condoning bullying by any means or my children not being able to stand up for themselves although there's value to learning that there are others out there who use words to seek out weakness.    It's my responsibility to teach my daughters there is a balance somewhere in the middle  To help them recognize and avoid the type of person who would take advantage and that they need to trust God that He has made them in His image and to listen to the Holy Spirit in such cases.
I read this morning in my devotional "Thank God for the difficulties in your life, since they provide protection from the idolatry of self-reliance."  
We can not heal ourselves or our children without the plight of God's hand no matter what we do.  It's been hard for me to trust in His good plan for them and their lives.  He has blessed them with this condition for a reason and has entrusted them to my husband and I so that we too learn a valuable lesson, to pray and trust in His reason. 
I would never intentionally keep my children from progressing away from the anxiety that they feel when out in public, however I wonder if their mutism might be an advantage one day in certain situations?
Being a parent of sometimes solemn children leads me to worry for their lives.  We as parents don't want our children to experience all the pain the world has to offer.  Of course being a parent of any child means we only want good things for their lives and so the vicious cycle repeats;  trust God.
Isn't that the greatest gift we can give to our children is the belief in Jesus and that all things are possible through Him?  

I pray that those of you who come to this page be blessed by God's plan for you and yours.  Choose your words wisely and learn to trust Him in your life and the life of your child/children.  Trusting in Him doesn't solely mean that we sit back and rely on Him to do the work He has planned for us.  It means that we ask for His guidance and trust in the fact that through our work and consistent perseverance we can get our children to a place where they can trust the voice within at all times.

 May God bless you one and all. 

Abdonded Ship

We did it.  We've got one year of homeschooling under our belts and I've already switched curricula.  I very much believe in Charlotte Mason's style of learning/teaching.  I quote ""In this time of extraordinary pressure, educational and social, perhaps a mothers first duty to her children is to secure for them a quiet and growing time, a full six years of passive receptive life, the waking part of it for the most part spent out in the fresh air."  I agree with a gentle approach to my children's childhood, Affording them time to be a child and exploring their world.  I find it important to instill a love of the outdoors and nature for them.  I want them to be able to foster their own curiosity and seek out information on their own one day.   That's when we known we've succeeded as a teacher, when the student is capable of teaching themselves.
We used My Father's World for first grade and I really appreciated the approach in the way they lay out their lesson plans.  I do liked their planning and putting together a curriculum that teaches the Bible, but in my opinion they failed in a few key areas for 1st grade.  I didn't like their phonics program or their math.  Phonics really lacked any true rhyme or reason for the way they presented the sounds and there were no rules as to why.  As for their complete book of math, it's for grades 1-3 and also didn't seem to follow any sort of reason.  It had no real lessons, only work pages in the book to be completed.  Now in MFW defense, I have noticed they've upgraded their 1st grade phonics program, but not the math.  I have a friend that utilizes it for later grades and has nothing but good things to say so maybe I'll try it again some day.  Not sure.  I debated last year, when starting to homeschool,  using Sonlight but shied away from it due to the high price.  Little did I know they had a payment plan.  That's a really nice option.  I looked at it again for our second year and knew I was going to do something different no matter the cost.  Our first year wasn't a total waste, it was a great learning curve for them and for me.  We pounded out basics of learning to tell time, got the calendar down, we worked a lot of character building.  I also spent many days with them outside collecting leaves, bugs, feathers and pine cones.  We walked off Noah's Ark in the backyard, that was a pretty good sized boat and the science projects they suggested were easy and fun.  After pouring over many homeschool reviews I still kept coming back to Sonlight.  I caved and ordered Core B with the first grade readers on a 4 day lesson plan.  I also ordered All About Spelling because they needed a spelling program this year and also because I've heard so many good things about it abilities to teach phonics too.  A little tip, we took the back of a white board ( white board was purchased at Lowes for around $30) and I painted the back of the white board with magnetic paint.  It's perfect for what we need!
For math Sonlight suggests  Saxon Math, but I went with Math Mammoth.   It uses the heuristic approach,  which refers to experience-based techniques for problem solving, learning, and discovery and it was very affordable.  Probably the cheapest part of our year so far!
The Sonlight box came the other day and the kids were so excited.  They pulled everything out, we put it all together and I got everything ready to go for our first day of school.  Our first day came and after we did our seat work part of the day,.......math, writing, spelling, we moved to the couch with a snack and read all the required reading for the day.  It was such a nice change of pace, being in our jammies on the couch reading about people of the world doing a few devotionals and reading aloud Charlotte's Web.  The kids also brought something out to play with on the living room floor when they couldn't sit still on the couch any longer and I actually think they participated more freely because they were not stuck to a chair behind the kitchen table.  There are questions Sonlight poses for thought after you've read  the stories and I've been amazed by my little ones answers.  They're intelligent thought out responses and sometimes very poignant.   My little girls!
As for them talking in public, we're still working very hard on being brave.  They're asking more often when we go out on errands if they can be brave.  They still are earning "be brave" cards during the week and once they've hit their quota for the week they're allowed to turn them in for a reward.  They do get instant gratification rewards too when we're out, the very first time we stop somewhere they need to 'be brave' and they'll get a Hershey's Kiss when we get back into the car.  Then the rest of the day is for working toward their cards.  I've been doing more of the hand over techniques that one person on here suggested, but still not getting any spontaneous speech on their own, however they aren't nearly as shy about handing over their gum, money or whatever I hand them to give to said person.  They have taken huge strides in the past year which I can not dismiss so easily.  They are much more apt to make eye contact.  They hardly ever hide behind me anymore and I don't have to coax them near as much as I used to to get them to speak.  They will readily answer forced choice questions without much difficulty and I can even get them to parrot back a whole sentence like "Have a good weekend" to complete strangers!  I'm really pleased and proud of their progress. 

Other than curriculum changes we have more on the horizon, but I'll post more on that later.
   Please know we're praying for your success with the little ones that you love who are affected by Selective Mustism too.
If you have any questions for me or comments then please leave them below.

God Bless.  

Ad Meliora "towards better things"

  I just love when I can be of help to someone else who was standing where I was years ago.  Knowing there's something wrong with your child but not having a word other than "painfully shy" but your gut tells you, there's got to be something more to it than that.  When I got those first few words "pragmatic speech" talking to the girls first speech therapist, I couldn't get home fast enough to Google search them.  It finally gave me a direction. 

We're hoping to move soon.  I've been networking with moms in our new local area and I connected with another mom on a social media forum.  Something provoked her after reading those couple of words "Selective Mutism" to do a Google search and came upon a resounding certainty her child has SM too.   She sent me a message and asked, "Now what do I do?  Where do I go from here?" 

 I wrote back to her and said,

First let me tell you there's hope!  Lots of it.  I would say start with your primary care MD and get a referral to see a child psychologist who specializes in Selective Mustism. 
I'd start with www.Selectivemutism.org  There is a lot of information on there.  If there's no one available in your state, try to find a psychologist who is good at treating anxiety disorders, especially social anxieties.  Kids need cognitive behavioral therapy to start working a "fear hierarchy ladder."  CBT will help them mimic movements first and then works up to blowing air and taking another step to making sounds like "P" or "B" at first and then working on yes or no and so on.   SM kids are usually perfectionists   (My one is moreso than the other but we'll work on OCD issues later.)    Approach is the key with helping these kids.  You HAVE to know this condition isn't something of their choosing.  They don't choose to remain silent and it's not that they're shy and will grow out of it.  They won't, they'll only retreat further into themselves if left untreated!  If caught early enough this condition is completely reversible.  I've heard so many positive stories and tho my two still don't spontaneously speak they've made huge strides since preschool. 
As someone had shared with me in an earlier post she suggested making the kids do "hand overs" to help instigate initializing spontaneous speech.  Since I've read that suggestion, we've been doing it every chance we can get.  At first they didn't want anything to do with handing over their candy bar or gum to the cashier or their books to the librarian.  Since doing so, they've gotten less and less hesitant.  Body language in these kids shout moreso than being vocal.  Like I told the new mom I met today.  It's a long road, but persistence will in the end pay off.  Stay consistent, be gentle and understanding but firm. 
I took the kids out for hot chocolate and a doughnut last Saturday (it was a reward for them for doing their chores and earning "be brave" cards.)  They were able to with me helping them (I ask them multiple choice questions and then they answer having them look at the person behind the counter) order their own doughnut.  Last summer when we went out with the Dr. to the same place for the first time it took them almost 45 mins before they could order.  We were in and out last Sat in under 45 mins.  That's what I call progress! 

God bless the souls who's hearts are stirred and head out in a direction for our children.  That's what being a parent is about isn't it?  Moving Heaven and Earth.  With God's guidance, start right here on Earth moving one rock at a time.

Lessons

This year has been an exploratory one.  I as a new homeschooling mom have learned great lessons about patience, curriculum, children's read aloud books, science approaches and I'm even a better 'drawer' than I ever thought possible.  Most importantly, I've learned to trust God in this whole process.  I've got to be a witness to my children relaxing in life, being comfortable in their own skin.  Friends and family have noticed the change as well.  It's been evident in the way they carry themselves when around people they are and are not familiar with.  They tend not to curl into themselves so much anymore when being somewhere new or slightly familiar.  They often times ask to 'be brave' when we go out to run errands.  They like to work on their responsibilities to earn their rewards. 

I think the homeschool Co Op has been a huge success for all of us.  I've enjoyed making new friends and getting to be a sponge around some of those ol' homeschool mom veterans.  They have accepted us with no strings attached and have been so accommodating to the girls situation. 
Our old public school as well has been such a joy.  They've opened their arms into helping meet our needs when it come to the girls attending extra curricular classes and letting us have access to speech class and their therapist.  The therapist has made great strides with them by getting them to speak outside of her office.  She's been pushing them into other areas of the school such as hallways and the library but has not succeeded in getting them to talk inside a classrooms full of kids.

It's been a year of many great discoveries.  I've learned there are more mundane days than good days, but I've chalked it up to a disenchantment with the curriculum we're using.  We're bored and I just don't like the approach it uses in teaching some certain fundamentals.  I've heard and read, these are the 'gentle years' so I'm not stressing it but am definitely looking into a new curriculum and a new approach for next year.  Find a good curriculum fair to go to if you can.  They are a great place to put your hands on things and decide what might be right for your family.
I have been reading some fun (read aloud) books this year.  The girls and I devour chapter books.  Many "Life according to Humprey" books,  Winnie the Pooh, The Worst Witch series and Dear Hound .   Which is why I'm looking into the Sonlight curriculum for next year.  The kids have progressed in reading and their writing skills are adequate.  They've learned how to tell time, count money and they know basic addition.  But I'm thinking there must be a better way out there.  We've learned bible stories and drew pictures.  Their memorization of memory verses has blown me away!  They memorize so easily.  This one little piece of fact gives me great hope.  They've spent a lot of time playing, making things and getting into trouble this school year.  I've watched them become a better friend to one another and value the importance of being a family.  
It's been a 'gentle year' indeed.  I thank God for all the opportunity He's given us and the means by which they all became possible.

I meet a lady at Co Op who told me she had a niece who also was diagnosed with SM and that her parents found out in preschool, got her the needed therapy and now at age 11, you would have never known she had SM.  What a great uplifting story!!!  I certainly hope we will also be able to tell this same story one day in the not so distant future. 

I pray I can impart onto you inspiration to not give up hope on your little ones who desire so desperately for their loved ones not to forsake them.  Take a huge breath in and a step backward to celebrate and admire the little milestones your child has conquered and praise them at every chance for being brave. 

Blessed With Yet Another Year

The holidays have come and gone.  We are trying to get back in an educational and productive groove.  OH my it's been a hard pill to bear!  Much more difficult then when I just had to put the kids on the bus after summer break.
I'm bored with the curriculum and what's far worse is having the kids look at me with that "deer in the headlights" look when we're talking about the special sounds some vowels make.  I suppose we'll finish eventually, but wow, I'm definitely going to look for something with a little more interest next year.  I had a fear of not being able to teach the right things and so I opted for a curriculum that I didn't have to put together myself.  Now that I've got a little experience under my belt, I won't be intimidated so easily this year.
The holidays didn't afford us much opportunity for a lot of social interaction.  We visited with family overnight and so it wasn't a whole lot of warm up time, however the girls were playing with their cousins by the end of Christmas night.  Not talking but playing along side them and following them around.  Again.  I call it progress.
I think I'm going to follow a commenter, Dianne's, advice and try the hand over/take over method in helping them to progress into more relaxed exchanges with people.
Here is her comment:

Hi Deanna,
I was just researching homeschooling children with SM, when I came across your blog. I have a 9-yr old with Selective Mutism and she's been making great strides.
You were curious about how to get your girls to spontaneously speak to people they encounter, but I was thinking about how "far along" something like that is for a child with SM. My daughter started to communicate socially first by doing hand over/take over. It's a more gradual step to social communication; like steps one would take reduce a phobia. I would take my daughter out and she would hand money/credit card/menu/keys whatever to the cashier or waiter and the person would hand them back. This really helps... then there are other steps to take as your child gets more comfortable just handing things to people. (Like you giving two choices on a menu in front of a waiter and asking your child to point to one. When she gets comfortable with pointing, you might move on to a verbal reply.) Initiating speech is one of the last steps. My daughter has been initiating in some cases now! We have had to follow these other steps first to get here, though. I'd be happy to give you more info and the name of the SMart center, where they specialize in SM. It seems like you're doing a great job and maybe you already even do some of the social communication steps that we've learned, but I couldn't help sharing because they are so crucial to helping my daughter (as well as my other 4 kids who have varying degrees of Social Anxiety.) I'm off to read some of the earlier entries on your blog :) Wishing you the best. -Dianna P.

The therapist we go to has really never suggested this before, we've always just jumped to nodding yes or no when we're around others.  However this is how they started out with her when we first started seeing her in her office.  So it seems a very natural place to start with others.  Thank you so much for sharing Dianna.

I'm always interested in what others with SM kids have to say.  I invite you to leave your comments if you are a parent to one of these kids.

Much success in your own 2013 journeys everyone. 

I'm thinking it's called Progress!

We visited the girls psychologist yesterday.  Last time we were there was in June before I started homeschooling.  The Dr. has been on maternity leave and that's why the long interval.  Her conclusions were so good to hear.  She said she was super impressed with the girls' progress.  She could tell that there was  a difference in their attitudes and a lot more willingness to "be brave".  They greeted her in the waiting room, (always after my prompting, not spontaneously) and it didn't take any time at all for them to warm up and start speaking in her office.  Since her leave, the Dr. had moved rooms, so we didn't have access to her normal board games that she utilizes and had to improvise with reading aloud.  We read "The Nose Book" by Dr. Seuss.  They don't know all the words yet but enough of them to get a good assessment of their skills.
She complimented on how nicely they read and how patient I was helping them.  I admitted it's been a process and a definite learning experience but the girls have given me a generous learning curve.
I told her our normal weekly routine has been a big part in providing opportunities for me to work with them.   Since the girls are going to their "specials" at their old school; ie, gym, music and art classes on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays with Co Op too on Fri mornings, we've really focused on finding one person each time we go somewhere to 'be brave' with.  I reward them with "Be Brave" (I'll post a link below)  cards and  they need one card every day we venture out of the house to get their reward at the end of the week.  We usually take a trip on Saturdays to Jo-Ann Fabrics for something small.  During the week I also reward them with Hershey kisses immediately after they've been brave.
  The Dr. and I set some more reasonable goals to achieve within the month.  Oh, that's the best part.  I asked if we could visit her on a monthly basis on from now on.  I feeling well equipped with the tools she's given me over the last year to work with the girls.  I said I didn't want to quit seeing her all together because I value her opinion and advice and I want her direction to continue.  She said that monthly visits would be fine since she hasn't seen a regression.  Yeah for us!!!!  I'm sure there were moments where she might have speculated over our choices.  She hasn't come out yet to say we've made the right choice in homeschooling but she's said whatever I'm doing to stay consistent.
Speech Therapy has also started for them at their old school.  We go twice a week to meet with the therapist there.  The girls spoke to her (not spontaneously, only forced choice one worded answers) but on the first day no less!  A huge milestone considering the therapist is a new face to them.  The therapist, our Dr. and I are meeting together next month to discuss the girls speech therapy goals.  I'm looking forward to what she has to say.
Lots of horn tooting with this post.  I'm just so darn proud of all our hard work.  It's probably too soon to say this is the way to go, maybe not, but for these two it feels like it's been the right choice. Today we've been homeschooling for 49 days.  I pray in the long run, this will be my legacy for them.  I can only hope and pray that God continues to support our decision to homeschool and He'll see fit to bless the girls with a long happy, balanced life.  There's a quote I've heard by Erma Bombeck that struck a chord with me lately, it goes:

 "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me". 

I want this for my children, to use every single talent the Lord has given them to serving Him without anxiety, being happy and content.

PS, Here's the link I promised to the website for the reward/chore cards  I use.  I use the whole system she's designed but I used sticky magnetic tape and use the side of the fridge to display them.  After the girls do their chore then they move it to the pockets, I got at Ikea, under their side.  The "best beehavior" cards are our "Be Brave" cards here.  They've worked wonders!  Good luck.

Quick Update

Today was the kids first day back to their old school since they left last fall.  Three days a week they go in for extra curricular classes, Gym, Music and Art.  I took them in this morning to go to their Gym class.  They complained about their newly purchased big gym shoes and too small socks.  The shoes kept slipping off the back of their heel and their socks were slouching down as well.  If I would have bought stuff the other way; ie, shoes too small and socks too big they would have complained about it too.  What's a mom to do?
Back to our morning.  The school was well prepared for our arrival.  The kids were greeted by their most favorite literacy para.  She took them in and walked them to the Gym.  I went and briefly talked to the new Speech Therapist and we tentatively set reasonable goals for them the children to achieve this year.
Afterward I sat in the school office waiting for my two to return.  I got a report that while in their class someone spied them laughing and playing with the other kids.  YES!  Laughing!  I don't think they've really ever done that in front of the other kids before.  I'll have to do some asking around, but I'm pretty sure about the last statement.
Upon leaving the girls said they had fun and recognized a lot of the kids from their Kindergarten class.  I think that was a relief to them, seeing familiar faces.

Golden Garden Spider

We came home to have some lunch and to explore the back yard.  Look what my little scientists found!  They've always had an affinity to spiders for some reason.  They're fascinated by them and, as you can see, pick out some pretty amazing species!  My two know every creature that resides in our back yard.....all the way down to these big ugly guys.  This thing was the size of a quarter easy.  I googled it and found out it was a Golden Garden Spider.  Completely harmless and the females are almost twice as big as the males with the abdomen being wider.
Looking forward to the rest of the week to see how the kids will transition into our new fall routine.  Co op starts the 21st of this month and  I'm praying this is the good foot that will set the tone for the rest of the school year.  LAUGHING on the first day! YES.

Continuing Speech Therapy

Last week I was contacted by the kids' old school mainly because I left last year telling them I was still intending to keep the children in their speech therapy sessions.  They listened and inquired if I was going to bring them in this year.  I have to admit, I'm very impressed by their willingness to help my kids and to work with me and my families decision to homeschool.  I also have the opportunity to put the kiddos in extra curricular classes at their old school which would include PE, Art and Music.  I've been thinking and praying about this option all summer and I believe this would afford the kids opportunity to relate and socialize with their former and new class mates on a regular basis.  In their speech therapy, the therapist puts them together with kids out of their class to help with their 'being brave' work.  Since they're not in a 1st grade class per say, I thought that maybe if they were in the extra classes it wouldn't make them feel nearly as awkward when paired with their classmates.
SM kids need plenty of opportunities to 'be brave'.  My children had progressed a good deal last school year and family and friends were voicing they could see a significant difference in their attitude.  I'm hoping all the opportunities this year, especially with me being at a lot of them, will help settle their anxieties.
I have to report my pride.  The kids have been asking to 'be brave' when we go out on errands.  I will negotiate with reward cards or a candy bar if their efforts are turned into audible words strangers can hear.    The last few days when practicing they have been twice as loud as normal.  I've upped the ante and told them they have to 'be brave' to two people or say "hi and bye" to one person on our outings to receive rewards.  They've even been as loud and ambitious when out with their Father too.  It's a small gain, but I'm counting anything that looks like a giant one.
On a side note, I want to express my pleasure in the curriculum we're using.  We're on our second month of using My Father's World and on Friday the kids had to listen to and then draw the story they heard.  The story was of a fisherman, his boat and fishing lines getting tangled.  The fisherman leaned over to untangle the lines and fell in and then he sent up a balloon distress signal.  This story was meant to help the kids remember the bodies of water in the region we will begin to study.  They were able to recreate the bodies of water on paper and then we learned a way of labeling them.  It was incredible to see the light in their eyes turn on when I compared their drawn maps to the globe.  They kept asking if these places were in "real life"?

On Exploration Day we saw these two yellow finch .

In science this past week we've been studying rain, clouds, thunder and lightening.  We've read many books on the subject and now they've even been introduced on how hail is made.  They can answer questions intelligibly on how clouds are made or how you can tell how many miles away the storm is.    I'm amazed how fast they are picking up their vowel sounds and learning how to read.  I've read to them since they were babies and it's hard to tell if they just are remembering words they've seen over and over or if they can really sound the words out.  I think it's a mixture of all the above but leaning more toward calling it a growing ability to sound it out.  It's exciting to see them become critical thinking little people.
It's such a blessing to be able to be home with them and I'm so grateful that I've been given this chance to teach them.  Such a rewarding experience even on the days when they're being challenging and there have been a few so far.  They're all teachable moments.  Everyday we're gaining so much and looking forward to what tomorrow will bring.
Be encouraged, stay positive and look for the blessings that each day may bring.

 this post is linked to Homeschool Highlights in MFW at Discover Their Gifts or 2ladybugsandalizard

Not Back to School

What a month it's been.  August is a month usually spent back to school shopping and getting ready for going back to school.  Two years ago I was sending the kids off to public Preschool.  I collected coupons, watched the sales fliers and gathered my courage to go brave the mob hungry crowds for deals.  I did a little shopping last year before Kindergarten because I bought the bulk of everything big enough for them to last thru two years.  Way to go me!  This year I've been mourning the passing of back to school shopping.  I did a lot of their 'school shopping' in spring time with tax return money.  Where am I going with this?  Frankly I don't know.  I think it's finally really and truly dawning on me that I'm a rebel and won't be sending the kids off to school this year.  That's a huge proverbial step in my parenthood journey.

A side story  to back up my choice;  we went out of town last week.  I attended my milestone high school class reunion paired with a few days spent with two other couples we adore.  I left the kids with their Uncle to watch overnight.  The kids love their Aunt, Uncle and cousins but have been spotty about speaking to them spontaneously.  In the past it usually takes a week or so for them to warm up on their own.  Their Aunt reported to me when I picked them up the next morning an I'm quoting.  "I figured I'd lay the law down, I was nice but firm.  I told them that we were eating in 5 mins.  If they couldn't tell me what they wanted for breakfast then I wouldn't know what to feed them."  She said it only took seconds for the pair to reply in unison "Pamcakes".    On errands we may run through out the week they ask me to "Be brave" to cashiers and clerks that we visit.  I've heard them in the backyard yelling and squealing delightfully with the neighbors kids outside too.  I don't know if it's a matter of maturity, therapy or the release of anxiety from having to return to 'school' but I think they're happier and feeling more secure.  I've noticed a more carefree attitude in their demeanor.  I'm not going to toot my horn too loudly yet.  Just wanted to put it out there for posterity.

On another very exciting note.  We finally got to register for our Co op classes.  The kids are in 3 different classes during a morning once a week.  They're taking a Geography class called "I love the USA".  Second hour will be occupied by Nest Entertainment videos.  I believe they are the Animated Hero Classic Series.   And Fun with Math will be presented in the third hour.   I'm really excited about the prospects of meeting other home school families in the area.  I feel like such a hermit.  I don't have time to make friends and I'll admit, I'm an older mom, some days I just don't have the energy to put into it.  Does that sound odd?  Is it just me?

I'm getting the HSLDA sorted out and I've registered the kids with the state so that they may still receive Speech Therapy and their specials, ie, meaning Art and Music classes at their old school.  I thought the interaction with old school friends would be good for them.  I've heard controversy before about sending the kids to ST, but the last two years have been good.  This year has yet to be seen.  The therapist that had diagnosed them and was so invested has returned to college a state away.  This year we will be experiencing a new therapist and they have pretty big shoes to fill, I'm hoping for the best.  I'm in for a lot of educating people on how to approach these two and bringing them up to speed so that they are useful to us.

A quick update I wanted to share about the homeschooling 'thang'.  We've took off last week because we were getting ready to leave mid week on our mini vacation and took this week off coming back home due to registering, doctor's appointments and just in general cleaning the house and putting things away from our trip.  I felt the 'good vibes' resonate that homeschooling doesn't have to be a pencil in hand pouring over text books or worksheets.  We did 'short school' this week where we've cuddled up on the couch, juice boxes in hand reading stories.  We reviewed the Godly Character traits and I started reading aloud  The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner.  (suggested from a friend)   We practiced computer skills at Sheppards Software which is FREE and is really good stuff!  We went over their memory verses, we're studying Proverbs.  I started teaching them some basic signs to help trigger their verses from memory. (yet another suggestion from a very good friend and veteran homeschool mom)
A foolish man gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.  Proverbs 29:11

 Have I stressed the importance of making friends with like minded people?  They have been a Godsend.  Literally.  God knows what He's doing when He calls your heart and will give you the tools to help you succeed.  If I can share one more thing I read from another homeschool mom on our Co op site;

"Dear Moms—especially new homeschool moms— 
this is a Public Service Announcement: Homeschooling should NOT be overwhelming.

If God has called you to homeschool your children, He WILL equip you for the journey. If your "core" curriculum is overwhelming, take a step back and really pray about how much work you are taking on for both yourself and your kids.

I fear we are focusing too much on the "3 R's" and we're forgetting the things that matter most. They will never be found inside a text book. They will be found in the most unexpected places-a bed time story, a conversation over breakfast, a steady guiding of conscience and spirit by a mom who is surrendered to the One who loves her children most.

Character before curriculum. Marriage before mothering. These are the things that matter most. ♥"

 So as August comes to a close and September is edging it's way in, I'm going to watch the school bus go by my house for the first time and that sinking feeling will finally reach the bottom of my toes.  The kids are being homeschooled.  With God's grace, He's gonna move mountains through me for them.  I hope and pray He has intended this all along and that these two will flourish confidently and find their voice.  Amen.

Officially Homeschooling!

We are official.  We're a couple weeks into our curriculum, "My Father's World" and enjoying it immensely.  We're made clay jars that hold scrolls, a worm terrarium, growing sweet potatoes and beans from seeds.
I'm teaching them how to draw and we've created many works of art so far.  My girls are also a lot smarter than they let on.  I'm finally beginning to understand how much they learned in Kindergarten, and I can confidently say their previous teachers have done an excellent job.
It's been trying at times, as usually most new things are, but I think with lots of prayer and a stickler for routine, we've found our groove.  I can say I've truly enjoyed these last couple of weeks....we're on school day #17.  Today I drug out "66 thin books" to help the girls visualize how many books are in the Bible.  They both agreed they'd much rather carry around an actual Bible than all those books.  It was entertaining watching their eyes bulge while trying to pick up a stack of books.  They are enticed by our science projects, they remind me when we need to check on the beans or sweet potato that we're growing.  The worm terrarium did not wow them so I'm going to see if I can send away for some ants instead.  We are also studying how things grow while enjoying the fruits of the garden we planted this spring.  Strawberries are sweetening on the vine, the potatoes are ready to be harvested and I have quite a few onions, bell peppers and even a few cucumber for pickles that need picked.  Ummmm, refrigerator dill pickles!  I'm gonna try my hand at canning this year for the first time and am looking forward to making my own salsa and spaghetti sauce.
So back to the kids.  I really wanted to share my insight on their anxieties and speech interactions.  I've asked them if they like having school here at home and each child has said yes, they're not interested in going back to public school in the fall.  They've been pretty resistant to the idea of starting the Co Op on Fridays this fall as well, but that's one thing I'm going to stick to for certain.  They need the social interaction whether they're comfortable with it or not.  Some of that cognitive behavioral therapy stuff.  I called the school district yesterday to make sure they're ready to go for Speech therapy through the school district and I'm even thinking about making them take the music and art class at their old school.   The school they used to go to will allow their participation in 'elective' classes which I found quite interesting.   I haven't sprung this on them yet, but I think I've noticed a calm that has overcome them this summer.  Wishful thinking?....maybe.  Maybe not.  I'm hoping and praying God sees us through this and that He can lead me to help strengthen their confidence and find their voices.

A "Foreward"; looking back

I've decided to start this blog at the beginning of this journey into the unknown, uncharted territory.  At least uncharted for us.

As a new parent you have all these dreams and desires about your contribution to the raising of your children.....and then you meet your children.  

When my girls were around 1 year old we moved out of the country.   I  found myself dropped into the middle of an island surrounded by homeschooling moms.  I was fortunate enough to considered some of them very close friends.  I got to experience and see first hand how the whole thing worked on different family dynamics and personalities.  So I began to hope that one day I'd be brave enough to face my fears and homeschool my children.  

I had noticed since birth my girls captured a lot of attention, it was a whole "twin" phenomena that would amaze me every time I took my daughters into public.  As babies complete strangers would stop me to oogle over, touch and smile at my children.  Most of the time they were friendly uninhibited comments that meant to edify my place into Twin Momma stardom.  My children from a very early age never enjoyed the attention as much as I did.  I liked hearing how cute the were and how lucky I was.  I felt like I had won a lottery when I found out we were going to have twins!  As the girls grew I would chalk their introvert behavior to being "painfully shy".  You could almost see them physically curl their bodies into themselves whenever someone besides mommy, papi or very close friends would even look at them and God forbid, talking to them.  

When they were around 2 1/2 years old, I'd noticed they didn't have the vocabulary as other kids their age.  I know you're not supposed to compare children, but common, we all do anyway.  So at the suggestion of another twin mom I sought an early development evaluation hoping they'd qualify for the early childhood intervention and get sent to preschool at age 3.  They were evaluated and fell within the "6 month window" for their age and we were denied any further assistance other than the advice to get them tested again if I still had concerns in the future.  

By the time they were 4 years old we moved back to the United States and I finally felt it was time to enroll them in Preschool.  I felt the socialization would be good for them and after a month of attending.  The teacher told me they hadn't spoken a word not even to one another!  They were referred to a fresh out of college Speech Therapist who was working at their school.  She is the one who closed in on the girls lack of "pragmatic speech"  That one word, "pragmatic" changed our lives.  It wasn't labeled shyness anymore but a whole new world of information and understanding opened up.  

For the first time I had a word to run with, a symptom of a much larger picture.  I found out it wasn't anything that I might have done!  I wasn't a miserable failure of a mother.  I was finally feeling like a advocate once I found my direction.  

I went home with that one word and did a google search and all kinds of things came back under Selective Mutism.  I printed off what I had found and took it to the Speech Therapist upon our next meeting.  Funny thing was, she had the same website printed out.   The girls switched into the early childhood developmentally delayed preschool and started speech therapy.  That school year was spent watching and trying to figure out how we get them to communicate.  At the end of the year I stressed about them being out for the summer and not getting the stimulation of interacting with the other kids.  I sat down one day at the computer and again "Googled" for doctors that treat Selective Mutism in my area.  To my delight one popped up and she's very well respected in this field.  I felt so lucky to be so close and have access to her.  Our insurance was approved and we were even cut a break by treatment partially being covered.  Our doctor collaborated with our school at the end of their preschool year and we set into motion a plan for Kindergarten.