Friday, May 10, 2013

The Foundation of Words

  A few little milestones to report, the girls and I practiced yesterday talking on the phone.  When the second daughter got on the phone she said "hello" spontaneously before I even did.  My heart leaped for joy!  Same said child also told me she loved me first the other night at bedtime.  It's always me saying I love them and then they in turn tell me.  That was the first spontaneous "I love you Mommy" ever and I'm taking  note.  They've also as of late are more apt to speak in a room of more than one person when all eyes are on them.  It still takes some coaxing but it's coming and they're doing it nonetheless. 
Little steps are the foundation to a house not built on sand.  Patience, time and perseverance will prevail but keep your actions and words kind.  Come from a place of love and not one of annoyance or shame.  I know many times I've wanted to push them so that other people could see the bright sweet children that I know them to be.  Putting that expectation on them is unfair of me because they only want to please me and if I push them faster than their mutism is willing to go at the time then I create the anxiety.   We need to ask them kindly and lovingly but firmly to be brave consistently!  I still believe by them being homeschooled and learning in real life environments it has helped us tackle the hurdles a day may pose. Consistency creates the opportunity to make the connections they need to learn that more people are kind and don't expect much out of a conversation other than the very art itself.   

I had heard the following quote in a lesson by Pastor Alistair Begg on Truth for Life the other morning and it really stirred by heart.

Just Suppose;
 If all that we say in a single day, 
with never a word left out, 
were painted each night in clear black and white, 
it would prove queer reading no doubt.
 And then just suppose, 
ere our eyes we would close, 
we must read the whole record through. 
Then wouldn’t we sigh, 
and wouldn’t we try,
 a great deal less talking to do? 
And I more than half think that many a kink, 
would be smoother in life’s tangled thread, 
if half that we say in a single day, 
were left forever unsaid.

 ~ Author Unknown

Not only hitting close to home for me, I also then turned it toward my girls.  Don't you wish we could harness the effects of being selectively mute some days, what a gift it would be?!  
    Proverbs 23:9
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.
Or  Proverbs 18:6 says A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.

I've been so outspoken on many occasion that a little self restraint or tongue tied-ness might have done me a world of good!

James 1: 19 says Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

I'm not condoning bullying by any means or my children not being able to stand up for themselves although there's value to learning that there are others out there who use words to seek out weakness.    It's my responsibility to teach my daughters there is a balance somewhere in the middle  To help them recognize and avoid the type of person who would take advantage and that they need to trust God that He has made them in His image and to listen to the Holy Spirit in such cases.
I read this morning in my devotional "Thank God for the difficulties in your life, since they provide protection from the idolatry of self-reliance."  
We can not heal ourselves or our children without the plight of God's hand no matter what we do.  It's been hard for me to trust in His good plan for them and their lives.  He has blessed them with this condition for a reason and has entrusted them to my husband and I so that we too learn a valuable lesson, to pray and trust in His reason. 
I would never intentionally keep my children from progressing away from the anxiety that they feel when out in public, however I wonder if their mutism might be an advantage one day in certain situations?
Being a parent of sometimes solemn children leads me to worry for their lives.  We as parents don't want our children to experience all the pain the world has to offer.  Of course being a parent of any child means we only want good things for their lives and so the vicious cycle repeats;  trust God.
Isn't that the greatest gift we can give to our children is the belief in Jesus and that all things are possible through Him?  

I pray that those of you who come to this page be blessed by God's plan for you and yours.  Choose your words wisely and learn to trust Him in your life and the life of your child/children.  Trusting in Him doesn't solely mean that we sit back and rely on Him to do the work He has planned for us.  It means that we ask for His guidance and trust in the fact that through our work and consistent perseverance we can get our children to a place where they can trust the voice within at all times.

 May God bless you one and all. 


  1. Hello, I just found your blog through a google search and I would love to be able to send you an e-mail (Sorry if this makes me sound crazy!). I have twin girls, age 5, who had a disastrous first year at school (we start at 4 where I live) and we are considering homeschooling. Though we have not had formal testing, it is fairly clear that they both meet the criteria for SM. We are considering our options and it is so nice to be able to read success stories like yours! Thank you for your words!

  2. Hello!
    I'd love to hear your story. You may message me here. I wish you luck and God's guidance and comfort through your children's journey.

  3. Childhood anxiety. Great post, I appreciate you and I would like to read your next post.


Be brave.....