Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

As stated earlier, I found a Child Psychologist that specializes in working with SM kids.  I felt like this was a divine appointment.  The Dr. met with my husband and I initially and confirmed the speech therapist and my suspicions, the girls indeed had selective mustism.

From what I had read and understood, SM varies in degrees but manifests in the inability to speak in public.  It’s a social anxiety that grips the child in fear and renders him mute.  It’s not a choice the child makes, rather it’s fear that the body can not overcome.  Many believe the earlier the disorder is discovered and therapy is sought,  the better the chance the child will develop tools to overcome and the anxiety is desensitized.   There are many sites and helpful books that will lay out a plan of action, but most parents are contributing factors to the child’s demise.  I personally needed help implementing the approach.  Those of us with SM kids have a way of loving them right into the protection they seek and relent to talking for them when it comes to our children being vocal.  This author is a major offender!   We lived on an island in the middle of nowhere for three years and although the island was 30 miles long and 12 miles wide and population hoovered around 200,000 people.  So I had every opportunity to make friends, but I myself have gotten quite introverted in my old age.  I did manage to seek out and make friends with other homeschool moms along with some other locals.  Knowing what I know now, there needs to be more of an effort on my part to get my kids around more and more opportunities to be social.

With all that being said, the Dr. accepted my two into her care and began working with them in June 2011.  We would drive an hour one way to meet once a week.  She taught me about using the “Fear Hierarchy Ladder” which is a technique they use in moving from non verbal responses to questions with a head nod or pointing to verbal responses.  I was so nervous at first “making” them do this, it was pretty obvious how painful it was for all of us.  Little by little every week the girls gained some ground and the didn’t lapse as far back on our new visits.  Over the summer we worked solely with the Dr. and I personally gained a lot more confidence and proficiency at moving up and down the “ladder” to elicit responses.   It’s cognitive behavioral therapy.  The Dr. explained it as being afraid of heights and taking small steps toward the edge of a very tall building and eventually being able to look over the edge without the fear of falling off.   In the SM child’s mind, just looking is synonymous with falling, leaving them literally frozen with fear and not even able to take the smallest of steps.  So getting them comfortable and rewarding them at any response in the beginning and then moving up the ladder to bigger responses is the goal.

They will do almost anything for a M&M!  :-)