Thursday, March 15, 2012

A "Foreward"; looking back

I've decided to start this blog at the beginning of this journey into the unknown, uncharted territory.  At least uncharted for us.
As a new parent you have all these dreams and desires about your contribution to the raising of your children.....and then you meet your children.  
When my girls were around 1 year old we moved out of the country.   I  found myself dropped into the middle of an island surrounded by homeschooling moms.  I was fortunate enough to considered some of them very close friends.  I got to experience and see first hand how the whole thing worked on different family dynamics and personalities.  So I began to hope that one day I'd be brave enough to face my fears and homeschool my children.  
I had noticed since birth my girls captured a lot of attention, it was a whole "twin" phenomena that would amaze me every time I took my daughters into public.  As babies complete strangers would stop me to oogle over, touch and smile at my children.  Most of the time they were friendly uninhibited comments that meant to edify my place into Twin Momma stardom.  My children from a very early age never enjoyed the attention as much as I did.  I liked hearing how cute the were and how lucky I was.  I felt like I had won a lottery when I found out we were going to have twins!  As the girls grew I would chalk their introvert behavior to being "painfully shy".  You could almost see them physically curl their bodies into themselves whenever someone besides mommy, papi or very close friends would even look at them and God forbid, talking to them.  
When they were around 2 1/2 years old, I'd noticed they didn't have the vocabulary as other kids their age.  I know you're not supposed to compare children, but common, we all do anyway.  So at the suggestion of another twin mom I sought an early development evaluation hoping they'd qualify for the early childhood intervention and get sent to preschool at age 3.  They were evaluated and fell within the "6 month window" for their age and we were denied any further assistance other than the advice to get them tested again if I still had concerns in the future.  
By the time they were 4 years old we moved back to the United States and I finally felt it was time to enroll them in Preschool.  I felt the socialization would be good for them and after a month of attending.  The teacher told me they hadn't spoken a word not even to one another!  They were referred to a fresh out of college Speech Therapist who was working at their school.  She is the one who closed in on the girls lack of "pragmatic speech"  That one word, "pragmatic" changed our lives.  It wasn't labeled shyness anymore but a whole new world of information and understanding opened up.  
For the first time I had a word to run with, a symptom of a much larger picture.  I found out it wasn't anything that I might have done!  I wasn't a miserable failure of a mother.  I was finally feeling like a advocate once I found my direction.  
I went home with that one word and did a google search and all kinds of things came back under Selective Mutism.  I printed off what I had found and took it to the Speech Therapist upon our next meeting.  Funny thing was, she had the same website printed out.   The girls switched into the early childhood developmentally delayed preschool and started speech therapy.  That school year was spent watching and trying to figure out how we get them to communicate.  At the end of the year I stressed about them being out for the summer and not getting the stimulation of interacting with the other kids.  I sat down one day at the computer and again "Googled" for doctors that treat Selective Mutism in my area.  To my delight one popped up and she's very well respected in this field.  I felt so lucky to be so close and have access to her.  Our insurance was approved and we were even cut a break by treatment partially being covered.  Our doctor collaborated with our school at the end of their preschool year and we set into motion a plan for Kindergarten.